Storytelling Week 6: That One Woman

Lights, Camera, Action by Kreative Essence Motion Pictures via Wikimedia Commons

"Welcome everyone to your favorite TV show That One Woman!"

"I am your host Dale Sky and today we follow our One Woman, Martha, where she finally picks a man. You see folks for the past eight weeks Martha has been getting to know these seven guys. All of them are super hot, wealthy, and sweet, but they do not know about the other guys! They all think that Martha is in love with them. Last week, Martha did not get only one but seven proposals! Isn't that something?? Without knowing about the other men they all proposed in the same week. We ended the show with Martha telling each man that she will marry them if they build her a rocking chair to rock their future children to sleep."

"Let's see what is happening now!"

(goes to camera with one of the men going to the department store)

"I am so excited for me and Martha to get married!" said Brody " I will build her an extravagant chair and whittle little farm animals into it so that our children, boy or girl, can be rocked to sleep in her beautiful arms!" He checked his pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that read "shopping list" and attempted to straighten it out. "Okay first on the list is: wood!" Brody went over to the wood to a strange sight. There were six men all fighting over the last piece of wood. Brody rushed over to calm the fight, "Woah guys break it up! What's all this about?" One guy looked like he was about to cry and says, "I proposed to my girlfriend and she said she would marry me if I built her a rocking chair, but there is one piece of wood and everyone else seems to think they need it more than I do." Brody, looking like he was just slapped in the face, replies "I am in a very similar situation my friend." Then one after another all the other guys in the group say that they are also doing the same thing. Then Brody asks the question they are all dying to know the answer to, "Is your girlfriend Martha?" Slowly every single man nods his head yes.

(commercial break)

"You know what?" says Brody, "This is not okay. Not okay at all. She should not be allowed to treat us like this!"  The first man that spoke no longer looked sad, he looked very, very mad. He responds to Brody with a crazy look in his eyes, "I say we give her a taste of her own medicine. Make her pay for what she has put us through." A lot of the other men give a rugged yell in agreement.

So they created a plan to make her feel the same pain they did. Or so they thought. Martha was in the security room watching this whole scene unfold on the security tapes.

Brody went up to Martha and says "Hey babe!" with a hug and a smile hoping that Martha wouldn't suspect a thing. He then grabs her and puts her in a choke hold. Martha screams "What are you doing Brody!?" Then all the other men come out and circle around them. One man brings out a chair and Brody sets Martha down in it. "So you found out my secret."says Martha, bowing her head in shame. Brody, clearly the leader of the group, approaches Martha. "What you did to us was vile Martha. So we need an answer. Which one of us will it be?" asks Brody with a steel voice. Martha replies, "Can I talk to you guys separately? I feel like I owe each of you an explanation."  So they each went in to see Martha and she told each of them "You are the one I really love. The others were mean to me so I didn't know how to tell them no. Can you please defend me so we can run off together and get married?" Each of them said that they would.

After they all talked Martha said goodbye and ran home. The men, not knowing they were being deceived again, broke out in a huge fight. This ended badly putting each of them into the hospital. Only later did they discover that Martha had tricked them yet again. Meanwhile, Martha moved to a different city and laughed to herself on how easy it is to manipulate men.

(goes back to Dale Sky)

"Well that was a very unexpected turn! I would hate to be on the other side of that! Martha really had no mercy for those men. Tune in next week to meet our new One Woman Betty. Goodnight everybody!"

Author's Note: This story is based off of The One Woman from the Folktales of Laos. I kept the same idea of the story of the woman outsmarting the man but made my own version of it. Unfortunately I was not able to finish out the original storyline and have the woman kill off the men and then trick another man into burying all of them for her and him killing another man in all of the confusion.

Bibliography: "The One Woman" from "Laos Folk-lore" by Katherine Neville Fleeson (1899).